Strategy

Matthew's father was a particularly formidable opponent at chess when I played him. He won the first two games easily and was well on his way to taking the third when life interrupted. "You have to figure out what your opponent is trying to do through his moves," he advised.
Very good advice. But not quite complete: before you apply it, first think, very carefully, do you know what you yourself are trying to do through your moves? 知己知彼，百战百胜 ... truly that is the most important thing, awareness. And--do you have any strategy at all? Or are you, like I have been all this time, only reacting to the last move made, responding to the immediate situation?
Maybe depth-free greedy algorithms work very well in some contexts, but life in general is probably not one of them. Please, please, find a direction.